..The secret of life, revealed?

What is it about cemeteries that I love so much?
The peace and quiet for one, I know. The opportunity to let my thoughts wander without any chance of disruption. But also thoughts of all the energy spent, the paths pursued, the love shared and love lost, the happiness, sadness, hope, and anger all spent and now gone, meaningless to all existence.

"The secret to life is enjoying the passing of time" So said James Taylor in one of his sweetest songs. I remember playing it for my life's true love (let's say "M") many years ago thinking it would reveal something of me I thought needed sharing. The problem was is that I wasn't able to let that idea really drive me. And so I was sharing something of me, that wasn't really of me. It was what I wanted to be of me.

Here's one of the many disgusting things about American culture: we are all driven to continually SEARCH. Ideally, it would be the search for the newest gadget, shiny object, consumerized technological advancement, or whatever purchasable thing that represented the happiness we all so dearly seek. (That you DO seek!) So you work, work, work to save money, or better, to earn credit and you buy, buy, buy. Whew. I must be happy now!

And the few who are even aware of the extent that everything around us was promoting this approach to life, can only go so far in keeping it at bay—keeping it from influencing how we see everything, the jobs we take, the friends we have, all the the decisions we make, and especially the love we let slip away for the search that will never be satisfied. Damn it.

I think often—too often really—about the regrets I'll have on my death bed. At that moment, will everything be clear? Is there some spiritual confluence that comes about in us that clarifies the silly pursuits we had, and (now) obvious paths we were blind to?

At that moment, will we learn the secret to life?